For many of us who’ve been around for a minute or two, Amanda Peet’s big break came in 2000 with the Bruce Willis/Matthew Perry comedy, The Whole Nine Yards. The film was a solid success at the box office, and while reviews were mixed, critics took note of Peet as Perry’s dental assistant, who also happens to be a hitman. In a film with two stars at their peak (Willis and Perry), Peet stole the show out from under them. From there, Peet proved she could excel in drama (Changing Lanes, Igby Goes Down – in which she delivers a devastating performance, Identity, Syriana, What Doesn’t Kill You), as well as comedies with a touch of melancholy, such as Please Give, The Way Way Back, and Togetherness.
Peet took a five-year break from the screen after filming Dirty John for the USA Network, and has been selective since returning to acting in 2023. With the character of Mel in Your Friends & Neighbors, Peet has scored one of her finest roles yet, as the ex-wife of “Coop” (Jon Hamm), whose outward glow masks deep-seated issues below the surface. Her scenes with Hamm are a masterclass in resentment, with a still-underlying longing for each other.
The show, created by Jonathan Tropper, perhaps best known for Banshee, explores how people who have all the trappings of wealth can still yearn for substance and how those trappings can ultimately become a cage. No character exemplifies that imprisoned feeling more than Amanda Peet’s Mel.
The Contending: Thoreau once said that men live lives of quiet desperation. While watching Your Friends and Neighbors, I couldn’t help but think about the women.
Amanda Peet: Yeah, maybe our desperation is not always so quiet. (Laughs).
The Contending: It definitely wasn’t always so quiet here. In the show, we see men with a lot of money mistreating women in various ways, whether it’s Lena Hall’s character, Olivia’s character, or your character, Mel. What we came to understand with you and Coop (Jon Hamm) is that he became emotionally unavailable.
Amanda Peet: I think so. When show creator Jonathan Tropper came to me, he said he wanted to avoid the sort of sad middle-aged divorcee trope. I think he is interested in showing someone who has some of her own rage and showing some of the things you pointed out, the ways in which men sublimate their status anxiety.
The Contending: The first real hint we get that Mel has underlying issues is the keying of the car. What I love about that scene is how casual your movement was and how blank your face was when you did it. That struck me.
Amanda Peet: I don’t have a deep answer for this. (Laughs). I remember (director) Craig Gillespie at some point saying, “Don’t do anything.” I just vaguely remember that. So I must have done a few takes where I was chewing the scenery because he asked, Can you just be more blank? So I went with blank. (Laughs).
The Contending: Mel can be very funny, she can have joyful moments, she’s incredibly smart, she’s a therapist, but she needs a lot of therapy herself. She has a lot of pent-up aggression. When you were putting her together and you saw all these different components, did you find a through line for yourself?
Amanda Peet: It’s probably a testament to Tropper’s writing. He is just into the idea that she contains multitudes. I like that he didn’t make her into a Madonna/ whore figure where it has to be one or the other. He is not interested in that, and neither am I. The older I get, the more I find that I have all of these things too. I have my own rage, and I have my own moments where I’m very affectionate, and then I can be very cold. Part of it is just being an old fart. (Laughs). You realize you’re capable of all these things.
The Contending: You bring up Jonathan Tropper, and I am a big fan of Banshee. One of the great things about that show is that the female lead, played by Ivana Milicevic, is very well-developed and three-dimensional.
Amanda Peet: I didn’t watch it. Don’t tell Tropper. (Laughs).
The Contending: Okay. I won’t tell him. (Laughs). I am curious about Jonathan and how he approached you with this role.
Amanda Peet: He just told me he’s not going to make her the sort of insipid wife character. And I said, ‘ Give me the script, because I don’t know if I believe you, because I’ve heard that. ‘ This ain’t my first rodeo. (Laughs). And then he gave me the first two episodes, so she did key the car, and I thought that was really fun, that she’s a therapist who then acts out what her patient was describing. He is a rare type of showrunner because he’s very opinionated and he’s involved in a granular way, but he’s also incredibly collaborative and kind. He is interested in me, interested in my opinions about Mel and the character, and everything, and he’s also interested in helping me get home to my kids in real life. He’s incredibly feminist, because it’s both what happens on the screen and how he collaborates with me about what it’s like to be a middle-aged has-been. And then he is also really interested in who I am as a person and, like I said, navigating being away from my kids. He’s very considerate, and I think that makes him a unicorn.
The Contending: In Your Friends and Neighbors, the hook is here’s a guy who loses his job and starts stealing from his neighbors. It’s a great hook. But that’s not really what the show is about to me. At the core are the relationships between these wealthy yet often unfulfilled people, and even the impact they have on their children, particularly Mel and Coop’s.
Amanda Peet: Tropper created this whole ecosystem. You take these tiny super-wealthy enclaves, and you find they have their own ecosystems. There’s this upstairs/downstairs element, but also people jockeying for social status. There’s also the intergenerational aspect of it, and he is taking it all on. That’s why it’s so fun.
The Contending: I interviewed Juno Temple last year for Fargo, and Jon was playing a very different character on that show. She was talking about how, at first, she was very intimidated by his whole aura, his Jon Hammness, you could say. (Laughs). But she found him to be incredibly professional and very generous to work with. I’m not sure that Jon Hamm needs to be propped up anymore than he already is, but I was curious about your working relationship with him, given that you share so many significant scenes.
Amanda Peet: She is right. He’s a real team player. He really is. And actually, that might partly even come from sports; he was like an insane athlete as a young man. Now he’s a decrepit old man. (Laughs).
The Contending: He does swing a tennis racket well.
Amanda Peet: Yeah, and he was recruited for football. He’s a team player. He really has that streak in him where if someone’s unhappy, he wants to know about it and fix it. And then he is just an incredible actor and very funny. So, I’m like the luckiest girl in America.
The Contending: As I finished the show, it occurred to me that much of it is about the facade of fabulousness, about having too much of everything and leaving you feeling like you have nothing.
Amanda Peet: I think so. That’s a great way to put it. The facade of fabulous, that’s very well put. We all struggle with this too, the facade of put-togetherness, the facade of being put together, especially men. It’s really hard for them to stay in a moment of vulnerability.
The Contending: Is this the most complex and worthwhile character you’ve gotten to play in a while, because you referenced earlier that sometimes you’ve been told you’re going to Fiji, and you’ve ended up in Staten Island, in terms of what the character’s going to be like. (Laughs). Were you happy with the weight of what you were given to do?
Amanda Peet: Honestly, I know it’s so boring, but I feel extremely lucky, and I didn’t expect this to happen. Your agents mention many things, like “Oh, they’re thinking about you for this.” But I’ve just also been through that so many times, too, and I can’t believe it came to fruition. It’s bananas, really.
The Contending: It just made me happy to see you get such a great part that showcases so many of your skills. I still think the Oscars overlooked you for Igby Goes Down. As I watched your work in Your Friends & Neighbors, I thought, “It’s about time.”
Amanda Peet: I don’t want to get emo (Laughs), but thank you very much. That really means a lot to me, honestly.
Your Friends & Neighbors is streaming now on AppleTV+
