“When this happened, he could make sense of it,” says Roman, speaking about his husband and how he compares their journeys with grief. “He could make sense of it–he got somewhere. I’m behind.”
No one can tell you how to deal with a situation even if they have gone through something similar even if their hearts are in the right place. Elsewhere‘s characters find themselves in different places as they grapple with the same weighty loss, but have we ever considered how we close that gap between us? Why do we insist on grieving separately?
We see a colorful baby’s room twice in Brian Keane’s thoughtful, reflective drama, Elsewhere, but each time it’s from a different point of view. The film opens with a brief push-in around the crib, and we see everything you need to welcome a new baby into a warm and comforting home: toys, a mobile over the crib, some baby blankets. The next time we see the space, Roman and his sister, Becca, sit on the floor as they consider what to do with these bright items. It’s interesting to think of how different circumstances can make us look at the same space in a different was as we consider how to part with dreams and things we wanted. We don’t realize how we cope with grief until we are deep within it.
After an adoption falls through, Roman can’t seem to get out of the house while his husband, Ben, busies himself with work as much as possible. He impatiently closes deals and seems more equipped with distracting himself, as if the more things he crosses off his to-do list will break up his emotions. Roman, a celebrated author, can’t seem to spend time at his laptop, even as an offer to be a guest professor of literature burns a hole in his inbox. To top it all off, it’s Roman’s birthday, and he and Ben are expecting a gaggle of friends over in just a few hours to celebrate.
As life continues to march forward, Keane’s film drops us into Roman’s sadness with sensitivity but never outright pity almost like we can grieve alongside him. Friends and relatives try to offer their advice and sympathy while gently nudging him towards a place of healing, and that guidance is one if the film’s strengths. Michael Raver, who also write the screenplay, brings us in so immediately with his performance that feel like we need to offer him a hard, assured embrace. He’s heartbreaking.
Elsewhere examines the kind of anguish that feels like it lives inside our bodies and how it affects our abilities to move forward. We can lose sight of a connection between our spouses and partners because it forces us to take care of ourselves before we can find a shared solace with others. Keane’s film, though, reminds us that if we simply reach out and communicate, that gentle touch can radiate a much-needed warm step towards collective healing.
Elsewhere plays as part of the Out On Film’s What We Carry: Drama Shorts block on October 4 at Landmark’s Midtown Art Cinema on October 4. It will stream as part of Out On Film’s online programming beginning October 5.
